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Joke of the Day

"I'm like a single electron... Sometimes, when no one is watching, I interfere with myself."

"Sometimes I wonder how vegans can survive off what little they can eat. Then I remember they just feed off attention."

"*taps Canadian *mumbles ""Apple starts with..."" ""Eh?"" *whispers ""Your blood type?"" ""Eh?"" *mutters ""Best grade?"" ""Eh?"" *giggles *runs away"

"[Trapped on a Island] *Message in a bottle* ""Please send help!"" *Gets message back, months later* ""Linda invited you to play Candy Crush"""

"I'm on Twitter because my family is on Facebook."

"Eye of the tiger. Nose of the lion. Mouth of the lynx. Ear of the bobcat. Throat of the cougar. Forehead of the ocelot."

"How do you know when there's a rabbit in your bed? You can smell the carrots on his breath."

"What's so good about being a CPU? Every time you are turned on, you're getting blown."

"I was on a ride at a funfair. One minute I was laughing my head off. Next I felt angry. Then I just became very sad. Turns out I was on an emotional roller coaster."

"What did Hamlet say when he heard dubstep for the first time? ""Aye, there's the wub"""