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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes I wonder how vegans can survive off what little they can eat. Then I remember they just feed off attention."

"So a grasshopper walks into a bar... The bartender says, ""Hey, did you know I have a drink named after you?"". The grasshopper says ""You've got a drink named Steve!?"""

"And what's your name?"" the secretary asked the next new boy. ""Butter."" ""I hope your first name's not Roland"" smirked the secretary. ""No ma'am. It's Brendan."""

"My new thesaurus just came in Not only is it terrible but it's also terrible"

"My math teacher called me average. How mean."

"I've struggled for years to be above the influence... But I've never been able to get that high"

"Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?"

"My 6 year old niece told me this one. What do you call an alligator who likes to wear vests? (_) ( _)>- (_) An investigator"

"REMINDER: If men could get pregnant, birth control would be in Hooters' wing sauce."

"three straight men walk in to a bar... and come out."