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Joke of the Day

"I was on a ride at a funfair. One minute I was laughing my head off. Next I felt angry. Then I just became very sad. Turns out I was on an emotional roller coaster."

"The years 2045. 90s kids are old &wrinkly. Grandma tosses seeds to pigeons ""Go insane go insane throw sum glitter make it rain"" she whispers"

"The bartender says ""We don't serve time travelers in here."" A time traveler walks into a bar."

"But, soft! What light through yonder window breaks? / Are you still on your iPhone even though you said you were going to sleep?"

"[Jewish joke] Did you hear about the old Mohel who got fired from his synagogue? He got the sack! [(definition)](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mohel)"

"And the LORD said unto John... ""Come forth and receive eternal life."" But John came fifth and had to eat the biscuit[.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soggy_biscuit)"

"Whats the most obvious feature shared by a leprechaun and a sober Irishman? Neither exist."

"Vladimir Putin is dressing up in a taco costume... I guess you could say he was Putin' on the Ritz."

"All of Donald Trump's wives are foreigners... Turns out there really are jobs American's won't do. Source: Mitt Romney's response to an interviewer's question."

"What do you call a chicken with lettuce in its eyes? Chicken ceaser salad."