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Joke of the Day

"I USED VOLUMIZING SHAMPOO TODAY AND NOW I CAN'T STOP SHOUTING!"

"Seems like everybody is wishing to find that special someone in their life, and I'm just over here wishing I could eat without getting fat"

"No matter how busy I am at work, I'm never too busy to complain about how busy I am at work."

"Each one of us has a secret. My secret is that I can't keep a secret. Also Jill is a lesbian."

"I lost my virginity to my teacher yesterday. Unfortunately, I'm home-schooled."

"Why should you feel bad for the gay homeless population? Because they don't have any closets to come out of"

"I bet Vegans that become zombies must really struggle with the whole brain-eating lifestyle..."

"How do you know a guitarist is sad? They start to fret."

"What do you call someone with no arms and no legs being towed behind your boat? Skip."

"Online dating rule: If we meet up offline, and you look nothing like your pictures, then you're buying me drinks until you do."