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Joke of the Day

"No matter how busy I am at work, I'm never too busy to complain about how busy I am at work."

"The most scientific pet? The lab."

"[In bed with gf] ""Do you have any fantasies?"" Yeah, one. You know your friend Sarah, the hot one? ""Yes.. why?"" I want to hit her with my car"

"Hey, wanna hear a Hillary Clinton Joke? [Deleted]"

"Comas can really change the meaning of a sentence... For instance: ""Ben is in a hurry."" ""Ben is in a coma."""

"Q: Why are the Harry Potter films unrealisitc? A: A ginger kid has 2 friends!"

"A suicide bomber tripped outside a news kiosk He's all over the front pages."

"You can tune a piano.. You can tune a piano, but you can't tunafish"

"Why did they stop serving beer at Miami Marlins games? They didn't have enough pitchers."

"I broke up with this cross eyed girl... I thought she was seeing someone else."