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Joke of the Day

"Online dating rule: If we meet up offline, and you look nothing like your pictures, then you're buying me drinks until you do."

"What is the smallest book in history? French War Victories."

"How are one night stands like savings accounts? ...you make a deposit, withdrawal, then lose interest."

"Why was Jesus I such good shape? Crossfit. Why did the Romans hate Jesus so much? He wouldn't shut up about crossfit."

"A black guy and a jewish guy jump off a building, who lands first? who cares."

"Woman: Ever since my mom passed, I think she's watching over me Mom's Ghost: Yeah, that is the kind of stupid thing you'd believe"

"When life gets tough, remember this: You were the strongest sperm."

"Why don't they have a Phone Directory in China? Because there are so many ""Wings"" and ""Wongs"" they'd still wing the wong number."

"What I learned from Titanic was that you need to have sex as soon as possilble with the person you like cause you never know what might happen."

"What do you call a happy husband? Broke."