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Joke of the Day

"What do you call someone with no arms and no legs being towed behind your boat? Skip."

"Once this cunning guy had a drum but a real problem with it A conundrum some might say."

"What they say: ""Hey, have you lost weight?"" What they mean: ""Hey, I remember you being a lot fatter. What gives?"""

"A grasshopper walks into a bar. Bartender looks up and shouts, ""Hey, we have a drink named after you!"" ""You have a drink called Steve?"""

"If I got 50 cents for every failed math exam I'd have $ 6.30 now"

"The voice actor for The Count on Sesame Street passed away this year... I guess his number was up."

"3 Best Uses for Oven Timers: 1. Remind you of beer in the freezer 2. Pizza rolls 3. Notify guests when their time's up & they should leave"

"Describe yourself in 3 words I am a rebel"

"Never marry a tennis player... Love means nothing to them."

"Why did the neck bone explode? It was C4."