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Joke of the Day

"Saw HBO were going to be making a new TV show set in an airport... They had to cancel it though as the pilot didn't take off."

"What did the Pope say to the hot atheist girl? Shake that blasphemy"

"There's safety in numbers. Tell that to 6 million Jews."

"What was the parrot doing in prison ? It was a jail-bird !"

"The church are upset about a new type of Heroin, called ""Jesus"" They hate it when people take the Lord's name in vein."

"A 25 year old just told me she's gonna rock my world. I'm 47 so I assume she's gonna show me where to buy comfortable shoes & soft licorice"

"What happens to superficial people when they die? They end up in a shallow grave."

"[baby finally falls asleep] ME: *tip toes to couch* I can finally relax DOG: I'M GONNA BARK FOR NO REASON"

"A Prius just tried to race me from a stop sign. I totally had it for the first 100 feet... But I can only walk so fast."

"Why doesn't Muad'Dib like the Spice Girls? They remind him too much of his mother. I'll see myself out."