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Joke of the Day

"A 25 year old just told me she's gonna rock my world. I'm 47 so I assume she's gonna show me where to buy comfortable shoes & soft licorice"

"What do you call a group of singing people floating around in the ocean? An acappellago"

"S&M ""Fuck me till it hurts."" *slap* ""Well, that was easy."""

"I met a girl who said she'd met me at Vegetarian club... But I swear I've never seen herbivore!"

"Ways to know a guy at the bar wants to take you home: 1. He talks to you. 2. He buys you a drink. 3. That drink makes you REALLY sleepy."

"What's the difference between a Taliban outpost and a Pakistani hospital? I don't know, I just fly the drone."

"Trump walks up to the mexican border and takes out his guitar. Anyway here's wonderwall."

"[meeting at round table] ""King Arthur, if I may?"" ""Go ahead."" ""Castles but bouncier."" ""Bouncy castles?"" ""But you gotta take your shoes off."""

"I planted something on Earth Day... My ass in my recliner for the day!"

"My grandfather told me this joke. A man jumps off a skyscraper. Halfway down, he says: ""so far so good"""