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Joke of the Day

"You know you have an awesome bra... when you can do the entire Head and Shoulders, Knees and Toes' song.... with just a slight adjustment of the shoulder straps!"

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"BREAKING: FBI discovers that Hillary's 30,000 deleted emails were all Facebook notifications from Biden tagging her on cat videos."
"Iceland passed away last week... its last wishes were for its ashes to be scattered across Europe..."
"Q: Why did the librarian slip and fall on the library floor? A: Because she was in the non-friction section."
"Years ago I tried on my sister's bra, couldn't undo the clasp & was too embarrassed to ask for help. I'm still wearing it. I live in shame."
"""Eat shit and die!"" -- Fly teaching his son about life"
"Why was the baby Honeydew sad? Because it was Meloncholic"
"Whats easier than stealing candy from a baby? ... Stealing candy from a dead baby."
"I'm going to keep buying cats until one of them does something hilarious and makes me a YouTube millionaire."
"Why was 9 afraid of 7? Because 7 had some PCP and was going ape shit!"