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Joke of the Day

"Q: Why did the librarian slip and fall on the library floor? A: Because she was in the non-friction section."

"There are three kinds of people Those who can count and those who can't"

"What's the difference... What's the difference between a colostomy bag and a politician? The bag isn't always full of shit!"

"My daughter wants a pony and my wife wants a new dishwasher, so I'm compromising and buying them a goat."

"Diagnosing myself on WebMD after smoking a joint is a terrible idea, i always end up with HIV and I probably just have gas (and now anxiety)"

"Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist? He kept himself up at night wondering if there really is a dog."

"would you like to come on our quiz show? you could win 2,000,000? [imagines spending the entire show standing up] ""no thanks"""

"Why do ladies prefer 77 over 69? Because it's eight more."

"Nothing against fat chicks having high self-esteem Just not yoga pants high"

"What dog is always tired in London? An English sleep dog."