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Joke of the Day

"LOST DOG: 4 year old border collie. Still living at home but doesn't know what to do with his life."

"Love does not hurt. Chuck Norris does."

"*wife walks in* *sees cheese balls everywhere* *shakes head* ""what? 8 won't get better at catching food in his mouth if we don't practice"""

"I can't believe my back is killing me. My spine has some nerve."

"""You're just not my cup of tea"" I say to someone else's cup of tea."

"I just heard a beautiful poem... ""I dig, you dig, we dig, he dig, she dig, they dig, we all dig."" I'll admit it's not a very *beautiful* poem, but it sure is deep."

"I'll always cherish the original misconception I had of you."

"The new Tattoo parlor across the street is free if you show boobs... ...Tit for tat."

"Are you a bandicoot? Because I would crash for you."

"We saw a patient in the emergency room today... He had fallen into an upholstering machine. It was touch and go for a while but... &nbsp; ...he's fully recovered."