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Joke of the Day

"My friends made fun of me for buying this flamethrower, but at least I don't have to shovel snow this weekend."

"1.What is Bruce Lee's favorite beverage? WATAAAH! 2.What is Bruce Lee's favorite hamburger? WHOPPAH! 3.Which hotel does Bruce Lee stay overnight? HYAAAAATT!"

"Prof asked if anyone liked comic books. I raised my hand. She didnt add anything or say why it mattered. Just wanted to isolate me socially."

"How does an elephant climb a tree? He hides in an acorn and waits for a bird to carry him up."

"My grandma married 2 men named Grover. I think she just had a thing for the name Grover, because she also married 2 women named Grover"

"Why did Sarah fall off the swing? ...because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. (Who's there?) ...not Sarah."

"What's the difference between a $20 steak and a $55 steak? February 14th."

"The trick to being happy is to keep a positive outlook: For example, my ongoing effort to break the world record for most ramen eaten while single is going great!"

"My friend wanted to feel like a princess on her wedding day So we made her marry a man she never met in order to secure a French alliance."

"It's sad that a few fake Nigerian princes have ruined it for all the good Nigerian princes who are just looking to wire 24 million dollars."