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Joke of the Day

"How many fishermen does it take to change a light bulb? One but you should have seen the bulb it must have been THIS big."

"It smells like updog in this sub."

"""Shit, I have to go."" - Yoda, Jedi Master Humorist, iChat"

"angel: they seem to be doing well God: give them more diseases angel: is that really necess- God: and social anxiety and kill a gorilla"

"Morning workout: Turn on treadmill. Untangle headphones for 14 minutes. Get frustrated, leave and eat doughnuts."

"Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they stink"

"I pitched my movie idea to a producer . It was about a kid who found out his transgender uncle was a superhero. I called it Auntman, the producer didn't get the idea, because he was black..."

"I'm not a looser just because my pants are not loser. Your a looser because you're pants are loser. Don't think your better then me."

"What happens when you don't pay your exorcist? ... You get repossessed."

"13: Mom, you look younger every day. M: What do you want? 13: A new skateboard. M: How young? 13: 29 M: Done."