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Joke of the Day

"angel: they seem to be doing well God: give them more diseases angel: is that really necess- God: and social anxiety and kill a gorilla"

"Two Irish schoolboys... 1: Hey, Pat! What's the craic? 2: Not much, Brian. I had a pint yesterday. 1: Oh! Really? I thought you were only 15? 2: I am! 1: So what was it? Guiness? 2: No, it was water."

"What do a bunch of wankers do in a group? Mass debating."

"What's green and smells like ham? Kermit the frog's finger"

"*makes sure kids are asleep* *walks out to car* *slowly unwraps candy bar* *hears knock on window* *puts head down* *hands it to them*"

"Why did Mickey Mouse take a trip into space ? He wanted to find Pluto !"

"Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president... ...and 50 for Miss America?"

"I once thought I had a Japanese friend.... But it was just my imagine Asian."

"What do you call a gay dinosaur? Mega-sore-ass"

"BUSH AND BILL Jokes Q: Why was there so much confusion with the Secret Service after George W. Bush took over the White House? A: Because President Bill Clinton's code name was also ""Mr. Bush."""