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Joke of the Day

"I pitched my movie idea to a producer . It was about a kid who found out his transgender uncle was a superhero. I called it Auntman, the producer didn't get the idea, because he was black..."

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"How awkward would it have been for coach if he put in Air Bud and they lost."
"There is a huge spider in my kitchen so I will be tweeting from on top of this table for whatever the life span of this species is."
"I just want to love someone half as much as a dog loves anyone"
"Who answers the Crime Stoppers Hotline? Stymied Coppers"
"The best way to see if someone is telling the truth is to tie them to a chair and start up the ol chainsaw."
"Trying to make pancakes this morning and it turns out I didn't get the spatula in the divorce."
"What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association"
"I'm not dumb, I just have a lot of blonde moments."
"How good are you at powerpoint? I Excel at it!"