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Joke of the Day

"Apparently 1 in 7 people in the world are Chinese. That means it's either me, my mum, dad, brother Steve, brother Craig, sister hanna, or brother huangxi. I suspect Craig."

"I'd rather have Samuel L Jackson narrate my life.. No offense, Morgan Freeman.. My life requires multiple uses of the word m 0therfcuker."

"So, my mate Vincent cut his ear off and his wife asked him why? He just told her "" I guess I just had to 'let it Gogh'. EDIT: removed the u from gogh"

"My friend met his wife on tinder ...It was six months after their wedding"

"Sucks how every girl I'm interested in is either taken or has good taste in men."

"You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me."

"Why are black people so tall? Because they're negros. (Hah get it? Knee grows?)"

"Somebody told me that today literally adds up But that's silly, 8+8 =/= 2016"

"Why does Santa have such a big sack? He only comes once a year"

"Pregnancy in the 1940's. (Doc) - ""Mrs. Smith, I have some **great** news for you"".... (Patient) - ""Thats MISS Smith, doctor!"".... (Doc) - ""Miss Smith, I have some *bad* news for you""...."