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Joke of the Day

"What did one snowman say to the other? ""Weird...I smell carrots, too."""

"Jesus walked into a tavern and saw a man who could not walk. He said, ""FRIEND, HAVE YOU BEEN INVOLVED IN AN ACCIDENT AT WORK THAT WASN'T YOUR FAULT?!"""

"I'm starting to think I buy bananas just to watch them die a slow death in my own home."

"My MOM Says Life is A Race Life iS A Tragedt When SeeN In CloSE-UP, LONG-SHOT. To Truly Laugh, You Must be Able to Take Your PAIN, And PLAY With iT!"

"[Weekend in NYC with my wife] Wife: Did you know Comicon is in NYC this weekend? Me walking out of bathroom in a Deadpool costume: No clue"

"Did you guys know that the entire Miami Dolphins team is missing? Yeah, I saw it on ESPN. It had their team logo and then a big MIA next to it."

"I text-ed my girlfriend ""goodnight, love you"" but accidentally sent it to my boss. Now Its awkward, cause he holds my hand during meetings."

"Diet plan: make friends fatter"

"When a cop tells you to ""spread 'em"" he is not flirting. I know this now."

"What do you call a frog that's in the mood? A HORNY TOAD!"