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Joke of the Day

"Where do Amish people go to get medicine? To the farmacy."

"What do you call a blond-haired, blue-eyed guy who is well-endowed? A Hung-Ariyan."

"My girlfriend told me she loves my brain I told her ""Hey, my eyes are down here""."

"How to discipline your rock *you hit rock bottom*"

"My clothes were traumatically stolen from me. But I've recovered."

"There are a lot of dads out there trying to make up for lost time by ""liking"" their grown children's facebook updates."

"Saw a guy in the gym, ahead of me on the Lat pulldown machine, wearing a David Luiz T-Shirt Needless to say, I got past him."

"I'm well pissed off with my neighbour today. Yesterday he kept playing the same Lionel Richie song over and over at full blast. I wouldn't mind normally, but it was all night long."

"Never trust couscous. It's just fat sand."

"I saw this advert in a window that said: ""Television for sale, $1, volume stuck on full."" I thought, ""I can't turn that down."""