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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a blond-haired, blue-eyed guy who is well-endowed? A Hung-Ariyan."

"Coffee rules everything around me. C.R.E.A.M. Get the sugar. Java java beans, y'all."

"Why is the biggest nose only 11 inches? Because if it was 12 inches it would be a foot!"

"How do you get a philosophy major off of your porch? Pay for the pizza."

"A dog and a cat walk into a bar. One starts licking its ass and the other says ""Two can play that game!"" They forget about drinks."

"OCTOPUS: *places tentacle on Bible* JUDGE: Do u swear to tell the truth? O: Yes BAILIFF: *spends like 8 minutes trying to get Bible unstuck*"

"Do cute firemen still come when a cat is stuck in a tree? Only in case of fire? Fine. But pretty sure my cat won't like being set on fire."

"Did your parents keep the placenta and throw away the baby?"

"What's a pirates favorite letter? You think it's the ""R"" but it's really the ""C"". Happy talk like a pirate day!"

"I am not racist because racism is a crime and crime is for black people"