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Joke of the Day

"I saw this advert in a window that said: ""Television for sale, $1, volume stuck on full."" I thought, ""I can't turn that down."""

"My favorite knock knock joke Knock Knock Who's there I eat mop I eat mop who. Say it out loud."

"""What should we call the 5th month?"" May I suggest- ""Great suggestion. May it is"""

"""Honey"" said Mrs. Beldon to her husband ""Lester's teacher says he ought to have an encyclopedia."" ""Encyclopedia my eye!"" exclaimed Beldon. ""Let him walk to school like I did."""

"Iraq has just ordered two thousand septic tanks from Russia. As soon as the Iraqis learn to drive them they are going to invade Iran."

"""Mom?"" ""Yes?"" ""Are we having seafood for dinner?"" ""No, why?"" ""I heard Dad on the phone."" ""And?"" ""He said that he picked up a case of crabs."""

"what's the male equivolent of a widow? Free"

"Boss: ok just bear with me *I growl and start clawing the air* B: wtf are you doing Me: I..You said.. B:first snail mail' now this..Just go"

"How many Chinese men does it take to make a Smartphone? I dunno, ask the Kids."

"Dad, Why was Mahatma Gandhi bald ""Because he always spoke the truth"" ""Oh! That's why woman have long hair"""