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Joke of the Day
"Why can you only drown a hipster in a tributary? Because, it isn't mainstream."
Next Joke
"Ant: I found this book of what humans call us. I'm an ant Dung Beetle: What am I called? Ant: *checks, shuts book* Let's not focus on labels"
"Everybody knows that door handles spread disease but when I started a business to clean them and called it Knob Jobs all I got were creepy phone calls."
"My coworker was like ""I love kids! Can't finish a whole one by myself though hahaha!"" And I was just like wow I could easily eat like 5."
"I was going to make a subreddit about middle children today, But then I realised everyone would just forget about it."
"So rude of Ashton Kutcher to file divorce papers right before Demi Moore's 150th birthday."
"A duck walks into a pharmacy grabs a tube of lipstick, puts it on the counter and the cashier says ""that'll be $3.50. The duck says ""just put it on my bill"""
"I've been diagnosed with chronic fear of giants; Feefiphobia."
"How do skeletons make a baby? They bone"
"KiK? Nope. I only joke about divorce. I'm not committed to it actually happening."