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Joke of the Day

"Ant: I found this book of what humans call us. I'm an ant Dung Beetle: What am I called? Ant: *checks, shuts book* Let's not focus on labels"

"How do you spell socks in Spanish? Eso si que es."

"What do you call Venus Williams' collection of Pokemon? The 'mons of Venus."

"I woke up hungover to the sound of my neighbour mowing his lawn. He will just have to mow around me because I'm not moving.."

"Why did the military name it's new drone system ""Caitlyn Jenner""? Because it's unmanned"

"LIAM NEESON: [writing grocery list] bread milk cheese eggs vengeance [he stops writing, frowns] vengeance grapes"

"the sadness of breaking up is less the loss of the person but of a 1000 inside jokes that you'll remember throughout life & never reshare"

"Where do bees keep their money ? In a honey box !"

"What did the great Ape say as he plummeted from the skyscraper? Listen baby I think I'm falling for you!"

"What's the difference between a tire and 365 condoms? One is a good year, the other is a great year."