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Joke of the Day

"A duck walks into a pharmacy grabs a tube of lipstick, puts it on the counter and the cashier says ""that'll be $3.50. The duck says ""just put it on my bill"""

Next Joke
 
"-""I was the girl that hated you back in high school."" -""I'm sorry, can you be more specific?"""
"When I asked my girlfriend why she was breaking up with me, she said ""Because you're a pedophile!"". I replied ""That's an awfully big word for a twelve year old."""
"I'm fairly tall so folks are always asking me ""Do you play basketball?"" My standard reply: ""No, do you play miniature golf?"""
"What's the best way to announce that you're lactose-intolerant I'm allergic to Wait for it Dairy"
"I managed to hit 18 holes today... And I still have time for golf."
"Why can't anyone tell my dads fat? Cause he grew up in Pawtucket."
"Why did the cardiologist bake a cake with partially hydrogenated oil? Because he took the hypocritic oath"
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bubbles ! Bubbles who ? Bubbles bangles and beads...!"
"Shark Who Attacked Surfer: ""I Was Just Trying To Impress My Girlfriend"""