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Joke of the Day
"Good Cop: step away from the ledge Cat Cop [pushes person off] oops"
Next Joke
"What the only tag a Tumblr user can't have? A small Oops looks like I pissed off the fatties"
"Who did the ghost invite to his party? Anyone he could dig up."
"What do you call a Lesbian Dinosaur? A Lickalotofpuss"
"I asked my German friend how many jews there are in Germany today He replied: I don't know, do you want me to gas? (This is conversation actually took place like an hour ago)"
"How do you know a woman is wearing tights? - Her knees swell up when she farts."
"What do you give an elephant with big feet ? Plenty of room !"
"I hope aliens don't land in the next few years, because this is a really embarrassing time for humanity."
"My wife says I've placed unreasonable expectations on our kids, but I think Superman and Wolverine will turn out just fine."
"GIRL NEARBY: I'm breaking up with you, Kevin. You don't talk about Pokemon enough. [I sit up straight and frantically try smoothing my hair]"