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Joke of the Day

"Q: How can you tell if a cat is blonde? A: No matter what height you drop it from it always lands on its head."

"What does the head of the Catholic Church used to buy goods online? Papal"

"How do fish make calls? On a shellphone! My 7 year old self was very proud of coming up with this one...."

"Ok, seriously men... You can't hear yourselves snoring, but the slightest crinkle of a chip bag, and you're suddenly wide awake?!"

"Don't act like you're serious about getting laid if your outfit is less than 70% leather."

"Bernie Sanders looks and sounds like the High Sparrow from GoT, but that's an unfair comparison. By next season, Reddit will still remember the High Sparrow."

"Fruit: often disappointing. Salad: always disappointing. Fruit salad: meets expectations."

"What do you call two hobos hitting each other with cardboard? Pillow fight"

"Jokes about PMT are like GMT. There's no physical line but there's signs that let you know when you've crossed it."

"A ponytail so tight I look 5 years younger and everyone thinks I've been smiling all day."