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Joke of the Day
"If you ever Google ""Grandfather Clock"", be careful how you spell that shit."
Next Joke
"Why're they called hemorrhoids? Surely they should be called asteroids? :]"
"""Hello, is this the number for Japanese food?"" ""No, it's Chinese. Sorry, Wong number."""
"*walks up to cute teller at bank* Me: you wanna grab lunch some time? T: sir, I've seen your balance. M: yea, I was hoping you'd buy."
"I'm on a seafood diet... Anything I see, I eat"
"Neverland Ranch Why did Michael Jackson build Neverland Ranch? He was fucking immature."
"R.I.P. the phrase ""I don't have an opinion on it."" Born 1550 - Died 2014"
"On a scale of 1 to 10 How old is your girlfriend?"
"Whats easier than stealing candy from a baby? ... Stealing candy from a dead baby."
"Everyone should learn sign language It's very handy"