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Joke of the Day
"If you ever Google ""Grandfather Clock"", be careful how you spell that shit."
Next Joke
"What has three eyes, three hands, and three legs? Two pirates"
"How do you make a tissue dance? You put a boogey in it!"
"I can't imagine how stressed Americans are feeling right now. I'm Canadian and I'm chugging maple syrup and just punched a moose."
"So how do monks stay warm in the snow covered peaks and whatnot? they have a shawl in temple"
"DONT SIT IN FRONT OF THE MIRROR EXAMINING YOUR FLAWS. QUIT IT. THEY ARENT REALLY THERE. ITS ALL IN YOUR HEAD. BE CONFIDENT IN WHO YOU ARE!!!"
"What's a Mexicans favorite protein? Whey"
"Take something someone says, then perceive it in every terrible way imaginable POOF you're a woman."
"I bought some shoes from a drug dealer today I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day"
"What's Grey and Comes in Quarts? An Elephant."