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Joke of the Day
"On a scale of 1 to 10 How old is your girlfriend?"
Next Joke
"Why shouldn't you have a conversation under a tree in the fall? There may be leavesdropping"
"People are always asking me why I named my pet newt 'Tiny' It's because he's my newt. ^minute ^^means ^^^small"
"I'll say ""HELLO PUPPY!"" to your dog, but you'll get the awkward half-smile."
"""Waaaah, my boyfriend is a jerk, but I'm gonna tell twitter instead of him because I have the communication skills of a sea anemone."""
"How many elves does a german santa have? Elf."
"Just wrote ""except for you, spiders >:("" on my Welcome mat so that should be the end of that"
"If guns don't kill people; people kill people... Then toasters don't toast toast, toast toasts toast."
"When dogs suddenly stop licking themselves and stare into the distance, they're thinking, ""Shit. Did I leave the iron on?"""
"The theme song for my sex life is ""With or Without You."""