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Joke of the Day

"In art class I was told black was a shade not a color. That must mean black people aren't colored: they're shady."

"If you're drunk, you're 3 sheets to the wind... ...if you're stoned, are you three papers to the wind?"

"Why did Jesus go to the gym? To make sure his cross fit."

"Mozart killed all his chickens.. he had asked them who the best composer was, and they kept saying "" Bach! Bach! Bach!"

"there once was a wonderful poet who knew that one day he woud blow it cuz his poems woud rhyme most of the time but occasionaly they didnt"

"The 2nd amendment gives us the right to bear arms and the 8th amendment gives us the right to horse legs"

"Why do waitresses love serving men in fedoras? If you're nice to them, their tipping intensifies."

"My 4yo just noticed me trying to throw out an old, wrecked piece of Lego & by the look he gave me I'm afraid to go to sleep now."

"What's the name of the yoga pose where you're hunched over your kitchen sink shoving handfuls of cereal into your mouth?"

"reckon the clouds look down and say, ''look! that one is shaped like an idiot?''"