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Joke of the Day

"If you're drunk, you're 3 sheets to the wind... ...if you're stoned, are you three papers to the wind?"

"It was a shame King Henry VIII had a lisp, it made it quite difficult for him to order his wives coffee. ""I'll have them decapitated"""

"How do you get a blonde to agree to a threesome? (Oc) Tell her she'll see an Eiffel tower if she does"

"So we've all heard the ""7, 8, 9 joke"" before.... Well then why was 2 sad? Because it went 1-3! (I'm sorry)"

"I decided to replace my belt with multiple watches connected together. It was a big waist of time."

"Women... are like hardwood floors. Lay 'em right the first time, and you can walk all over them for the rest of your life."

"Common sense is so rare it should be classified as a super power"

"Waiter there's a fly in my soup ! Yes it's the rotting meat that attracts them !"

"Why Did The One Handed Man Cross The Road? So he could get to the second hand store!"

"When I said I wanted to take it slow, I meant your life."