26828

Joke of the Day

"The HARDEST part about being a teenager? Probably having to sigh a second time when the first was too quiet."

"My friend told me Alan Rickman had passed away. I said ""You're joking?"".... ...She replied ""Nope. Dead Sirius."""

"[walking quickly past the old lady I just held the door open for] this doesn't mean you can order before me"

"Dyslexic man So a dyslexic man walks into a bra."

"What happens when a T-rex gets strep? His throat becomes saurus."

"Why did the console peasants walk across the road? To render the building on the other side."

"What do neckbeards like to spread on their toast? Marma'lady ^tip"

"What did the snake say when he was offered a piece of cheese for dinner? Thank you I'll just have a slither."

"Yes, it's me Police officer: ""Can you identify yourself, sir?"" Driver pulls out his mirror and says: ""Yes, it's me."""

"What's the difference between a crackhead and a John? A crackhead buys crack so he can put it into his pipe and burn it. A John pays so that he can put his pipe into a crack that might burn him."