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Joke of the Day

"What did the snake say when he was offered a piece of cheese for dinner? Thank you I'll just have a slither."

"What's the most positive thing about Harlem? HIV"

"What's pink and hard? A pig with a knife."

"How is 2+2=5 like your left foot? It's not right."

"1. Denial 2. Anger 3. Bargaining 4. Depression 5. Acceptance......... The 5 stages of wearing a condom."

"Angela Merkel got sad when she heard that she didn't win the Nobel Peace Prize after taking in so many Syrian refugees So I offered her a tissue "

"Why is Princess Peach named after a fruit and Princess Daisy named after a flower? Because wanting to sound good is their OBJECTion"

"What do you call a fear of deadly snakes? Common sense."

"I've had an awful year. I lost my job, broke my leg and my wife's run off with my best friend... I do miss him."

"I said to my wife Barb, You make an excellent point.'"