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Joke of the Day

"All police should quit, just to teach us a lesson. We'll beg them to beat and gas us, but they'll be like nope, you didn't appreciate it"

"I have bad knees. It runs in my family. Now nobody in my family runs."

"A baby and I locked eyes. I panicked, but thankfully I didn't cry first. Haha stupid baby, I win."

"I'm wearing my big rolled up socks again today and I'm doing so with pride. So all you haters can get in a taxi and chip off."

"Whats the difference between a smart midget and a venereal disease? Ones a cunning runt..."

"Who are the fastest readers in the world? 9/11 Victims, they went through 38 stories in 10 seconds"

"Did you guys hear who killed Alicia Keys? No oooneee, noooo oneee, nooooooo oooooonnneeee http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rywUS-ohqeE"

"What do you call an unambiguous body of water? The Specific Ocean"

"What did the lonely lumberjack use to get laid? TINDERRRRR!!!!"

"Definition of FACEBOOK? It's a place where Boy posts a Joke, Gets No Response....And If Girl Posts The Same Joke, She Gets 150 Likes, 300 Comments & 60 Friends Requests."