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Joke of the Day

"I can count the number of times I've been to Chernobyl with one hand. It's 42."

"The IRS is going to start garnishing my wages. I think I'll enjoy getting a sprig of parsley in my paycheck."

"Well - It's not the first time Donald has left a Bush disappointed..."

"There's only two types of people in the world; people who think they can categorize everything, and people who are not morons."

"What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care..."

"I hurt myself holidaying in Spain this year. It was a Sevilla injury."

"Remember, if we get caught, you are deaf and I speak no English."

"Why was the lesbian nervous about her first trip to China? All the dongs."

"I was on the beach with my daughter. After a while, she turned to me and said, ""Dad, you look like a lobster."" ""Oh no,"" I replied, ""Am I burning?"" She said, ""No. Just very ugly."""

"Why was the Scotsman buried on the hill? He died."