195905

Joke of the Day

"I was on the beach with my daughter. After a while, she turned to me and said, ""Dad, you look like a lobster."" ""Oh no,"" I replied, ""Am I burning?"" She said, ""No. Just very ugly."""

"How did the Linux admin commit assault? He sudo bashed someone."

"I hope the guy who stole my debit card enjoys his $12 shopping spree."

"Jesus' favorite pick up line ""Hey girl. I'm the son of God back from the dead and trust me, I put the erection in resurrection."""

"freak people out in public restrooms by saying ""come in"" when they knock on the stall door"

"What do you call a car made out of Canadian money? A CADillac."

"Did you hear about the kidnapping today? He woke up though so it's okay."

"What do you call a phobia of chainsaws? Common sense"

"Why does toilet paper need a commercial? Who is not buying this?"

"What did the spoon say when he caught his knife cheating on him? Get the fork outta here!"