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Joke of the Day
"My husband gets so mad when I introduce him as my first husband."
Next Joke
"Girl, you remind me of an alarm clock... ...you were a good idea last night but now I just want you to shut the fuck up"
"[inventing flies] GOD: make them eat shit ANGEL: got it GOD: make their babies the grossest things in the world ANGEL: ok who hurt you?"
"[yelling over loud strip club music] DO YOU ACCEPT KOHLS KASH"
"Try saying ""good luck"" without sounding sarcastic. Good luck."
"I told an Aussie friend I was having trouble rooting my phone He replied, ""Maybe try buying it dinner first, mate. """
"What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby? You take your boots off to jump on a trampoline."
"Why are there no knock knock jokes about America? Because freedom rings. 'Murica"
"Websites that automatically play music are like strangers who try to talk to you on a plane."
"Finally, I win 1st place in something! A guy recently rated me as a solid 1 in the attractiveness scale. I've never won anything in my life!"