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Joke of the Day

"Finally, I win 1st place in something! A guy recently rated me as a solid 1 in the attractiveness scale. I've never won anything in my life!"

"Two blondes walking down the hood and one said: -Wait.. I smell sperm... someone is fu*king nearby!!... The other one responded: -Nah, I just belched"

"""Stop pestering me. I'm trying to do my job."" -Major Tom to ground control"

"I'm a optimist ...at least I think so"

"Italian Guy with a problem What do you call an Italian guy with one arm shorter than the other? A Speech Impediment :)"

"An old man went underwear shopping. ""Boxers or briefs?"" Asked the clerk. ""Depends."""

"why didn't the young bald eagle need a chaperone? he already had super-vision."

"What do you call a haughty criminal walking down the stairs? A condescending con descending."

"The titanic had Bluetooth It synced"

"What is a ghost's favorite type of porn? Boo-kakke."