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Joke of the Day

"I used to work for Goodyear, but I had to quit... I got too tired."

"I lost my dog and I don't know if I'll ever find him. I don't have collar ID."

"What do you call someone who just had sex with a necrophiliac? Sliad."

"I wish i had the immune system of an African baby I've heard they only get sick once in their whole lives."

"in the rental car today and my son said it was like we were in a ""rocket ship"" how many rocket ships have you been in. That's what I thought"

"Why Jewish are one of the most intelligent people in the world? They spent a lot of time in Concentration camps."

"Some people thought the plus-size iPhone would be a failure... but I knew eventually it would be a huge 6s"

"[Starbucks meeting] ME: Sorry I'm ""latte"" haha BOSS: Aren't you the guy we fired for biting a customer"

"sex while camping? Now that's fucking in tents."

"My boyfriend is being so nice to me since I showed him how easy it was to remove blood from carpeting..."