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Joke of the Day
"Websites that automatically play music are like strangers who try to talk to you on a plane."
Next Joke
"They're not all brilliant, but they're all mine. Meaning my tweets, and maybe my kids, whatever."
"Did you hear how they caught the guy who burgled Will Smith's house? Fresh prints"
"Bought a blowup doll today but I won't blow her up til tomorrow. Don't want to seem desperate."
"I was going to tell you a joke about women's rights... ...But it would have been too funny"
"What happened when Jesus went to mount Olive? Popeye fucking smacked him one."
"Why did the chicken cross the road? ... To get to your house. Knock Knock *Who's there?* The chicken!"
"A grasshopper walks into a bar, and the bartender says, ""Hey, we have a drink named after you!"" The grasshopper looks surprised and asks, ""You have a drink named Steve?"""
"5yo's pretending she's a tourist at a hotel. All good, but I draw the line when my services are criticized because the ""toilet's too cold."""
"What did the ZERO say to the EIGHT? Nice belt"