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Joke of the Day
"Why did the artist put on a show of horse paintings? He wanted to mount an exhibit!"
Next Joke
"What does amnesia mean? Someone told me but I forgot."
"Last night, a cop pulled me over. ""Out of the car!"" he said. Then an Indian, fireman and construction worker appeared. We danced until dawn."
"WORK TIP: Respond to all your boss's emails with ""Heyyyy you!"""
"I only accept chocolate chip cookie bribes, THE SOFT ONES CHRISTY, NOT THE GARBAGE YOU GAVE ME."
"Who says you can't make someone love you? I've got a bottle of Scotch, some duct tape and a fresh batch of cupcakes, that beg to differ."
"A monk walks up to a hot-dog vendor and says, ""Make me one with everything."" ~~~ So he pays for his meal and asks for his change. The vendor shrugs and retorts smugly, ""Change comes from within."""
"My 4yo brought his Woody doll to the store and was swinging it around. I told him loudly to stop hitting people with his Woody. Parenting."
"Love it how music can take you to another place . For example, One direction is playing in this restaurant so i'm going to a different one."
"[2006] *creates anonymous username online and never reveals personal information* [2016] *tweets Taco Bell my credit card number & address*"