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Joke of the Day

"My therapist says that to be happy in marriage, never go to sleep mad at each other. Been mad at my wife 2 months straight cause of insomnia"

"Why did Jared decide to gain all of his weight back? The mall is hiring new Santas."

"Every 60 Seconds in Africa.... a minute passes"

"He was the best human cannonball the circus ever had. You seldom meet a man of his caliber."

"My signature move is texting ""There in 5"" while I'm 80 miles away and embroiled in a Kung Fu Dance battle with an uncouth cattle farmer."

"He's a recovering alcoholic: recovering from last night!"

"What is a penguin? A swallow who ate after 6pm."

"Women on their periods make me angry... ...I was loking up my wife's skirt last night and the red mist descended over my eyes."

"My 83 year old grandfather is still trying to be a successful rapper, his name? Two canes"

"Simba was moving too slowly So i told him to Mufasa"