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Joke of the Day

"[2006] *creates anonymous username online and never reveals personal information* [2016] *tweets Taco Bell my credit card number & address*"

"I can tell people are judgmental just by looking at them."

"What noise does a homosexual horse make? Geigh"

"Why was Jesus the father of exercise? Because he was cross fit"

"You know what I call it when cute girls cut themselves? Damaged goods, damaging the goods."

"What is a mathematicians favorite Eagles song? Take it to the limit. RIP Glenn Frey"

"Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have."

"I just spent $100 at Whole Foods. This better be a damn good bag of Almonds."

"I went to China and couldn't find a single Catholic church... I guess they must have heard about the ""One-child only"" policy"

"Q: What side of the dog has the most fur? - A: The Outside."