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Joke of the Day

"Nothing worse than talking to a person with a large amount of spit in their mouth that talks really fast. HOLY SHIT...My glasses r ruined"

"I'm great at drinking and driving but I would never do them at the same time."

"What do you get when hou bring a Greek and a Swede together? Moose-saka"

"I invented a Glass Coffin, but I don't know if it will catch on. Remains to be seen."

"Billy has 32 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. Billy has diabetes."

"I'm tired of women touching and playing with it but no one wants to blow it. Damn vuvuzelas!"

"Two muffins cooking in a oven One says ""fuck it's hot in here"" the other says ""Holy shit, a talking muffin"""

"Just heard local reports of a stalker, which is funny because I watch everyone through their windows and none of them look suspicious"

"Reddit is like my ex. The biggest time waster ever."

"Whenever I wake up in a bad mood I always wear a shirt I don't like just in case I turn into The Hulk."