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Joke of the Day

"Two muffins cooking in a oven One says ""fuck it's hot in here"" the other says ""Holy shit, a talking muffin"""

"What does Lenin say when he his angry? I will hit you so hard that it will leave a Marx."

"Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac? He lies awake at night wondering if there is a dog."

"Imma be, I'm a be, I'm a be, Imma, Imma, Imma be... Just kidding, Imma wasp."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Cy ! Cy who ? Cy'n on the botton line !"

"Why do French tanks have rearview mirrors? So they can see the battle."

"Ronald McDonald runs for president. His slogan? Make America's Weight A Gain."

"What's the difference between a horse? The orange has handlebars"

"Broke my make-up mirror this morning. I thought people would say 7 yrs of bad luck but mostly it's been, ""Your eyeliner is really crooked."""

"What do you get when you wear wool socks in a tortilla chip factory? Tostitos."