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Joke of the Day

"I'm tired of women touching and playing with it but no one wants to blow it. Damn vuvuzelas!"

"Gynecologist: ok, I just need you to open up... Me, interrupting: As a middle child, I never felt good enough. Gynecologist: Um, your legs"

"The iPhone 7 may be revolutionary and everything.... But the Samsung Note 7 blows you away."

"I remember when my grad father first got his pace maker Every time he would go to use the microwave he would piss his pants and forget who he was for about an half an hour or so."

"How many liberals does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. Bush did it."

"When a necrophiliac goes to a funeral... He gets mourning wood."

"I saw a black man drop his wallet today. I opened it up, chased him down the street and said,Mr Jones? He said, No that's not me."

"When is a birthday cake like a golf ball? When it's been sliced."

"My wife and I decided we don't want to have children anymore So anyone who wants one, leave us a number and adress and we will bring you one."

"What did the deaf nymphomaniac say? come again?"