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Joke of the Day
"I'm great at drinking and driving but I would never do them at the same time."
Next Joke
"Accidentally left my phone at home, now I know how Kevin McCallister's parents felt."
"An English man, an Irish man, and a Scots man walk into a pub. They head to the bar and the bartender says, ""what is this, some kind of joke?!"""
"Just landed my dream job of ""before"" picture"
"What do you call a man with a large flatfish on his head? Ray!"
"Guy at Dairy Queen was yelling at everybody because they didn't have waffle cones but they had PICTURES of waffle cones. That guy was me."
"A patient asked the dentist if it wasn't nasty to be all the day with the hands in someone's mouth. The dentist answered ""I just think of it as having my hands in their wallet."""
"What do you call a girl who only likes guys with big muscles? A Biceptual"
"Two peanuts were walking down the road... One was assaulted"
"Remember when you were a kid and the teacher said you can be anything you want to be? Luckily I chose lower middle class and overweight."