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Joke of the Day

"What do you call it when a blond dyes her hair? Artificial Intelligence."

"Why did the stupid boy put clothes on the valentines he was sending? Because they needed to be ad-dressed! "

"Normally I find Ted Cruz's message to be more off point But last night he proved to be undoubtedly a more-on candidate and a moving speaker"

"An excerpt from my self help book, ""How to Get Rich Quick"" Chapter 1: Write a self help book about how to get rich quick The End"

"How do you know your house had chicken pox? It has shingles."

"A Hydrogen atom suddenly exclaimed: ""I think I just lost my electron!"" ""Are you sure?"" Asked its friend, ""Yes"" replied the first, ""I'm positive."""

"When I explained Twitter to my mother she said, ""Sounds like group therapy where no one's getting better."" Well played, Mom. Well played."

"Tyson's psychologist told Mike to take a year off he obviously misunderstood....good thing he didn't say two!"

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I wouldn't pay $5 to have a garbanzo bean on me."

"The iPhone 7 is water-resistant, has stereo sound and a better camera but it doesn't have that one feature that I want: affordability."