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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the statistician that drowned? Apparently he tried crossing a river with an average depth of 4 feet."

"Terrorists have hijacked a plane filled with politicians... They say they will release one politician per hour if their demands aren't met."

"No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery."

"YOLO doesn't work for cats."

"What do you get when you give a duck a knife? A murder most fowl."

"What does a baby mouse say to its mother after seeing a bat? Look mom, an angel!"

"What's the best way to search a linen store? Undercover."

"I'm broke but not ""vacuums the air filter* instead of replacing it"" broke. *more than twice."

"ted cruz looks like he puts ketchup all over his fries instead dipping them"

"I'm great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once."