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Joke of the Day

"Have you heard about Samsung's new video game based on the Galaxy Note 7? They're calling it Mass Defect."

"What's a paralympian's worst nightmare? Testing positive for WD-40"

"My girlfriend came out of the shower and said ""I shaved down there, you know what that means?"" I said, ""Yeah the f*cking drain is clogged again."""

"I store drugs right under my nose Don't believe me? Check my stash"

"Parent: Where are you going at this time of the night all dressed up like a slut? Daughter: To the bathroom, I need a new Facebook picture."

"I'm never mean to a girl in glasses, because she will most likely turn out to be hot and popular by the end of the movie."

"My husband doesn't like it when I say we are ""married"" with quotation marks."

"Why did the crowd watch the man futily attempt to blend oil and water for hours on end? It was unmiscible."

"Santa Claus came early! Mrs. Claus wasn't too happy."

"What do you call an ant from overseas ? Impartant"