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Joke of the Day

"I store drugs right under my nose Don't believe me? Check my stash"

"What is it called when your s.o. comes up with reasons to not make love? Sexcuses"

"I just saw a ghost with Tourrets. Fuckboo to you too."

"What do Mexicans use to cut their pizza? Little Caesars. ...I'll see myself out."

"QUESTION: Name the loser in the 1976 presidential race. ANSWER: The American people."

"So Darwin comes across a sad penguin in an airport.... He goes up to the penguin and asks, ""Why so angry, you cute little fella?"" The penguin looks up to him and says ""flight's delayed."""

"This motel room smells like despair. Or is that my deodorant? The tuna sandwich, maybe. This hooker? My jeans? I bet it's my jeans."

"What do Tony Romo and a french whore have in common? They both do a great amount of sucking for four quarters."

"I had an ambivalent girlfriend once, but I had to dump her. I found out she was addicted to Meh."

"Lisa has 750 friends on Facebook. A week later she adds 150 more to her friends list. What does she have? Huge tits."